Dealing With Difficult Situations

As much as nursing has its amazing and heart-warming moments, we also know that parts of the job involve a lot of sadness and can be very emotionally gruelling. 

I'd had a few upsetting moments throughout my degree, but the real heavy stuff didn't happen until my final placement in a children's A&E. A teenage boy had attempted to kill himself and although he was being kept alive by machines, there was no chance of any recovery. I watched as the A&E prepared for his arrival, a flurry of activity as doctors, nurses, ODPs and consultants rallied to the resus room and began preparing equipment, drugs and allocating roles. (I helped act as a scribe so I could observe as much as possible). It really was an amazing example of teamwork. I watched as the patient was brought in by ambulance, assessed, given medications, worked on and then stabilised so his family could see him. He was eventually moved to ICU (intensive care unit) where his family would be able to share his final moments with him in peace. 

I had never seen a patient dead or dying until this point and as tragic as it was, I was glad I'd had the experience of this as a student before I'd qualified. You can never be prepared to witness a parent grieving for their child, no matter how many documentaries you watch or things you read. It took everything I had not to burst into tears as I heard a mother sob for the son she had lost. However, the support staff give to each other, as much as the family in their care, was what struck me the most. Everyone checked in on each other and acknowledged the gravity of what we had just experienced. They particularly rallied around me as a student with no experience of a situation like this, which was kind. That night I went home, I cried, prayed for that boy and his family (even though I'm not religious) and hugged my loved ones a little tighter than night.

I asked the staff how they coped with seeing death on a regular basis, how could anyone ever get used to this? They answered they never get used to it, but just learn how to deal with it. (They also say the moment something like this doesn't affect you, you're in the wrong job!). I understood what they meant when I experienced another death in the A&E a few weeks later. There is no getting used to seeing patients die, especially children. You have to acknowledge the situation, talk about it, if this helps you, lean on your team and hopefully look back on the situation knowing that everyone did their best for that patient.  

It's ok to cry and to feel like life's unfair, but you must always put the patient and their family first. Our job is to care for them, but we are only human and of course it's normal to show that situations like this upset you, just keep in control of your emotions. Debriefing after the situation can also be useful as this offers you a chance to talk through what happened and if anyone could have done anything differently. It offers a sort of peace of mind, I guess you could say. Most importantly look out for your colleagues and support each other.